I still owe two more posts about my trip to Phoenix and Triann's trip to Hawaii but the events of the last few days have me a bit distracted.
The bank took my bike back last month. I was unable to make the payments and there were no arrangements that we could make to satisfy the amount I was behind so my daily commuter was gone. I also had a ‘89 BMW 325ix that Triann's parents had given to us. I used this for a back up for snow or ice days when I couldn’t ride the bike. This became my new commuter. Yesterday morning I was driving to work (for the first time in 5 weeks). There was a black Mazda that was weaving in and out of traffic cutting folks off. I didn’t see the final part but after talking to the folks I found that the Mazda had cut in front of the car in the front of my little incident and the gal made a motion with her phone to indicate she was going to call and report him. The Mazda decided to brake check this gal. The gal was able to stop in time as was the explorer behind her, unfortunately the guy in the bmw (me) was a little slow to react and punched into the explorer pushing him into the impala. Luckily no one was hurt and there was very minimal damage to the explorer and the impala. a little different story for the bmw. the explorer had a hitch receiver that saved it from most damage but did quite a number on the font end of the bmw. The hood, bumper, radiator, shroud and both quarter panels were smashed. I called AAA and had them tow the car to the repair shop. It was after I called the insurance company to get a claim number for the repair shop that I found out that we did not have full coverage on the bmw. We had it in the past, until I turned but I had turned it down to liability only because I was commuting on the bike. When I took the bike off the policy last month I did not turn the insurance back up to comp. Bottom line was no coverage as the accident was my fault. I received the estimate from the shop today and the total for the repairs was 7500.00. The blue book on the car was 1800. Even if I could afford it I don’t think it would make a lot of sense to put that kind of money into the car. So in a month and a half I have managed to loose two vehicles. The hardest thing about this is that I can’t blame anyone for any of it. Yes the guy was screwing around and his road rage or whatever it was started the process, but I was the one that didn’t stop in time, and as much as I would like to get mad at my insurance agent for not reminding me that we hadn’t changed the car back to full, I didn’t check myself. It is much easier to point the blame somewhere else then it is to know that it was your fault.
In other news… We have been working on an application for Cares Team ministry (http://caresteam.org). This is an apartment ministry that places a couple in an apartment complex to provide social activities for the complex. The ministry is a hands and feet evangelism ministry, meaning that it is not about thumping people over the head with the Bible, but showing them by your actions and creating opportunities to share your faith through normal conversations. The ministry provides the apartment to the couple in exchange for 70 hours a month of even planning and activities. My cousin Laura and her husband Shane are in place currently and have done a great job of explaining the ministry and what is expected. As a result of the last few months Triann and I were concerned that it was more than we could handle right now and that maybe we were excited about it for the wrong reasons. With all that has been going on, the idea of free or reduced rent is very appealing and we were afraid that is the main reason we were wanting to do it. We weren’t sure if we really had the energy or commitment necessary to do it right. All that being said we had decided to stop our application process for now. That was until this last week. All this week if felt like God was pushing us to go for it. Daily readings, small group Bible study and the Sermon on Sunday all seemed like they were talking about this directly. After talking and praying about it we felt that God was truly calling us to do this and we were ready to trust him to give us the energy we needed to do this well. I had just submitted my application and was sitting in the family room with Triann when we both received an email from the area coordinator for Cares. The email explained that based on our background check/credit report they would need to deny our application based on their policies. There wasn’t any information about what it was that triggered the denial, but it doesn’t take too much imagination to figure it out. Between the repossession of my bike and all of the collection and charge off accounts I have accumulated over that last few years I am sure the credit report looks like a mess. I will call them in them tomorrow to find out if there is anything that we can fix or explain, but I am not holding out a lot of hope for it right now.
I have to admit that I am confused and pretty frustrated right now. I had given up on this whole thing, thinking that it wasn’t what we should be doing right now. Then I felt like God was pushing us to complete the application and go forward with the process, only to have it fall apart.
So between that and the fact that for the first time in about 12 years we are sharing a car I am having a real hard time keeping my chin up.
I think this is really what faith is all about. Trusting God even when you can’t see a good reason to do so. I am writing that out to try and remind myself. Right now I don’t want to trust, I don’t want to hold on for “the good thing right around the corner”. I am tired and feel like I can’t do anything right. I am mad and frustrated and disappointed and confused. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH
I know that there is more to the story, I know that it is not about things being easy or making sense. That knowledge, my loving and patient wife and all our experiences with God and his providing the things that we need (not what we want, but what we need) is what is keeping me afloat right now.
That’s all right now… another opportunity to write things out and chew on them as they hit the screen.
E
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